Satine's Secret
by Ellisaed
Summary: Satine knows her Obi. Better than anyone. Of course they think her idea is silly, who wouldn't? But Satine is determined to keep her secret just that - secret. Obi-Wan, however, has a different idea...
1. Chapter 1

Hey! So I've never written a funny fic before, but this one is just that! A light break from "The Necklace" that gives me my ObiTine fix :D It's just for laughs! Hope you like!

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"So this was my plan - we throw him a surprise party!"

The pair looked to Satine in disbelief before they burst out laughing. The Duchess, however stubborn and determined she may be, scowled at them in disapproval.

"What?!" Satine said over the laughter, "It's not a bad idea!"

"No it's not, Satine. The idea itself seems rather practical and entertaining," Qui-Gon Jinn consoled the young woman sitting upon her throne gently, wiping tears from his eyes.

Tahl, who stood beside him in the grand throne room of the palace, couldn't help but chuckle along. "Master Jinn is right, you have the idea. But we all know how well that plan will work."

"Obi-Wan can't be surprised. He's unsurprisable."

"Liars." Satine folded her arms, "Anyone can be surprised -"

"Anyone but Obi!"

They both burst out laughing despite Satine's audible "humph!" of disagreement. What was a young Duchess to do? All she desired was to make the young Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi feel special on his birthday. He was always so melancholy, so boring - she wanted to do something fun for him, break him out of his stuffy shell! After all, whether she admitted or not, Satine did love him. She loved him and wanted this for him.

The Duchess sighed in upset, watching the two Jedi before her still laughing like a bunch of drunken Tatooinians. Of course they teased her. She knew that it would be difficult, but she was determined._ I'll show them. Anyone can be surprised. Even my Obi. _

"Well Masters, I thank you for your opinion on the matter." Satine stood and faked a smile, "I'll summon you if I need any further assistance."

Qui-Gon wrinkled his brows, "Wait, are you going to go through with this? Surely you're kidding!"

"It's a hopeless waste of time Satine," Tahl said bluntly, "You can't do it."

The Duchess smiled truly then, "Oh yes I can. And for that, I will."

The guards escorted them out, giving them each a donut for their time. Satine still smirked as she watched them go. She would show them.

_After all, _she thought_, when a Duchess puts her mind to something, it gets done. _


	2. Chapter 2

Okay! This has been so much fun writing here's chapter two! Hope you enjoy! :D ~ Ellisaed

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"Oh Sattie . . . " Obi-Wan Kenobi called, strolling through the ornate halls of the Mandalorian palace. The place was bustling busy, attendants running past him here and there. He had not a clue what was the commotion, but he hadn't seen the Duchess in ages and had set out to find her. However, all he had managed to find was her little blonde haired mischievous nephew.

"Aunt Sattie!" Korkie Kryze called, holding tightly to Obi-Wan's finger as he skipped along, "She told me she's busy today."

"Doing what? Where is she?"

"A secret. Can't tell, it's a secret."

"Secret?" Obi-Wan looked down to Korkie's blue eyes, "What do you mean -"

"Obi! There you are!"

The Padawan looked up to see Satine rushing for him, dressed not in her royal Mandalorian clothes but a thigh length frock and leggings, looking bright and vibrant. _Very_ _vibrant_.

Soon Satine was kissing each of his and Korkie's cheeks, "I'm sorry if I went absent; the palace is just so busy with the special Interplanetary Meeting I'm throwing tonight!"

"Oh. I see." Obi-Wan said with disappointment. For some reason, for he knew his birthday _was_ coming up, he had thought that maybe . . . this was for something else. He was, after all, turning twenty which was a milestone. However, he ignored it. _Jedi don't need that kind of attention. We must remained focused in the Force. _

Obi smiled to Satine again, "Very busy then?"

"Yes. Korkie's kept you busy as well?" Satine said with a smirk, and Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.

"He couldn't find his 'gosh darn sippy cup."

"Gosh darn sippy." Korkie echoed from his side, and they both laughed.

Obi-Wan noticed the Duchess' gaze was . . . odd. Her blue eyes seemed . . . clouded, her perfect lips in an all-knowing yet naughty smirk. With a sultry look, Satine leaned closer to Obi-Wan's ear then, still smiling suspiciously, "I want to see you on my balcony in one hour . . . wear something nice . . . "

Obi-Wan shuddered at the feel of her minty breath on him, and as she backed away she tugged his Padawan braid and giggled, calling as she rushed away. "And don't be late!"

TheJedi stood, stunned. Something was going on. And as a self proclaimed Jedi detective, Obi-Wan decided he would find out. Korkie tugged his sleeve, and Obi-Wan looked at the boy.

"Auntie Sattie likes secrets."

"Yes, she does. But guess what?"

"What?" The boy said eagerly.

Obi-Wan smirked, "So do I."


	3. Chapter 3

New Chap! So happy with this fic! Thanks for reading! :D

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"Oh Mando frigates . . ." Satine humphed. She sat at her balcony's table all alone, the food that had been prepared for dinner long past cold. Unlike her, who despite the nights chill was boiling with anger. How dare he stand her up! What a nerve Obi-Wan Kenobi had!

The Duchess angrily picked at a bowl of grapes and started throwing them off the balcony as she spoke, "That no good - "

A grape was tossed.

"Stuffy - "

Toss.

"Prick headed - "

Toss.

"Single minded -"

Toss.

"Sly tongued son of a half-grown disgusting good-for-nothing sarlacc pit!"

Satine whipped off a handful with a shriek of anger, stomping her foot. Even thought this was just a test, she had failed it. Even with her charm and sultriness Obi had known something was up and hadn't shown up to dinner. How was she supposed to throw him a surprise party when he didn't even show up for dinner? This would be a failure. _Quiggy and Tahl were right._ She plopped in her chair disappointedly. _Obi's are unsur - _

Just then, the door to her balcony opened. Satine looked up to see Korkie skipping to her side and crying happily, "A note for Auntie! A note for Auntie!"

"A note?" Satine took the flimsi from her nephew, opening it,"From whom?"

"Secret." Korkie giggled. Satine have him a look, reading the note out loud.

"Dearest Sattie . . . my apologies for missing dinner; my Master requested a katas lesson and I couldn't refuse. I hope to meet you in your bedroom rather, at eleven ~ Obi . . ."

Satine gasped. Now she was confused, "My bedroom? What the frigate is he trying to pull?"

"He said he liked secrets." Korkie piped in. Satine tweaked his nose.

"Well my pigeon - two can play at that game!"


	4. Chapter 4

Hey! Here's more! Please review+hope u like! :D

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Obi-Wan sighed in impatience, looking at his watch for the fiftieth time after straightening out his dress tunic. He had known Satine would take her time, for he had stood her up after all, but it was 11:45 for Force's sake! He hadn't much time. All his Jedi detective skills had been used to plan things out, and Obi-Wan felt confident that he could get this secret from Satine. His tactic was one she could not refuse. He smirked naughtily to himself. _Hopefully we won't have to resort to plan B . . . _

And just as the thought popped into his head, Satine strolled into her bedroom dressed in a rather elegant red gown fit for a Duchess. However, she looked as cross as a underweight wampa, makeup smudged and all. In fact, she looked twice as mean.

Despite this, Obi-Wan rose cheerily from the bed to greet her, extending a hand, "Darling, you look stunning! New dress?"

"You're going to need a new nose when I'm done with you!" Satine growled, and Obi-Wan backed up until he lay flat upon the silk comforter of the bed.

Satine stood above him, pointing a stern finger, "You stood me up Kenobi! And for that, you pay!"

"Me? Stand you up? Preposterous!"

The Duchess climbed and stood over him, "You are very rude! All i wanted to donwas spend some time with you . . ."

Obi-Wan sat up slowly, letting the sultry expression on his face tell her exactly how he felt. Satine blinked, confused. He spoke beneath his breath.

"Dove . . . I'm sorry . . ." He placed a finger on her chin and smiled, "You must forgive me."

Obi-Wan turned his head, his lips nearly meeting hers, and Satine looked smitten silent.

"You are sneaky," He whispered, ". . . hiding a secret from me . . . tell me, lamb . . . tell me what it is . . ."

He closed his eyes as he moved eagerly in toward the Duchess' pink lips -

"I am far too busy for any of this nonsense! Leave my room this instant!"

Obi-Wan opened his eyes, stunned, "But I thought we - "

Satine pushed him down again, "Leave!"

The Padawan sat in shock, only receiving a cold glare before picking himself up and hurrying out of the room. The Duchess called to him in a scream,"Don't come back!" before slamming the door.

Obi-Wan gaped, staring at the door wondrously. She had refused his kiss. She had _never_ done that to him! _What the good Force is she hiding_? He had to find out. Or else, he wasn't sure what he'd do.

"Phew . . ." Satine sighed, sliding down the back of the door. She tore the band out of her hair and let it fall around her face, sitting in the darkness silently until she heard Obi-Wan walk away. She had been so close to giving in. Satine had never refused Obi's cute little smirk, his perfect kiss. Never.

As hard as it had been, she knew that now she had regained the upper hand, as if this battle was a sparring game between them. This victory was a small singe to her opponents wrist. _Now all I need to do is go in for the kill,_ the Duchess thought, _and do it swiftly._

But in the morning, of course. It was the big day, and she planned on making it the best surprise ever. Satine stumbled over to her bed and collapsed into it, only to be startled by something hard under her pillow. Confused, she fumbled underneath it -

"Korkie." Satine held up her nephews sippy cup with a sigh, placing it on her nightstand before snuggling into sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Obi-Wan felt his body being shaken furiously, and he sat up from sleep. Korkie stood beside his bed with wide blue eyes, sipping earnestly at his sippy cup in his footie starship jammies.

Obi-Wan wrinkled his brows startled, mumbling groggily to the boy, "What's wrong Korkie? Is everything alright?"

He shook his head, "Aunt Sattie is gone. I can't find her!"

Obi-Wan rubbed his eyes, "Gone?"

"The palace is looking for her!"

Pausing, the Padawan listened closely. Yes, he heard people noises, clattering, footsteps, and even an alarm sounding. _Why didn't I awaken_? He thought angrily, whipping back his sheets and racing out into the hallways. People rushed past him, nursemaids and guards alike.

Korkie whimpered from Obi-Wan's side, taking the Jedi's tunic pants and tugging, "Follow me!"

"But Satine - Korkie I can't -"

Obi-Wan reluctantly followed the child where he insistently pulled him. They stumbled against the passing people, but when Obi-Wan tried to ask them for help no one replied to him. He groaned to himself, utterly frustrated. After all he had been through that long day, this certainly was not a highlight. Maybe Satine had been so upset at his trick she had run away, or worse brought herself to some sort of harm . . . _and it's my fault! _

At a sudden rush of adrenaline Obi-Wan picked Korkie up on his hip and jogged toward the throne room, knowing that was where his Master would most likely be.

"No no no no!" Korkie kicked against him, "Wrong way Obi! She's not there, I checked!"

"I'm looking for my Master, he can help us -"

Korkie let out a wail so loud Obi-Wan nearly dropped the boy. Passerbys held their ears, and the Padawan winced at the sheer piercing tone, setting the child down and grasping the shoulders firmly as he shouted, "Korkie! _Hush_!"

Korkie took a breath in to begin again, but Obi-Wan covered the mouth before he could make anymore noise. The childs big blue eyes were owlishly wide as he listened to the Jedi whisper.

"We'll go where you want, just no more screaming, alright?"

Korkie nodded.

Obi-Wan sighed, "Good."

Korkie giggled, taking Obi-Wan's hand and leading him down a flight of stairs happily. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, knowing they were heading directly away from the throne room, though that was where everyone else seemed to be going. Jedi senses kicking in suddenly, Obi-Wan didn't have time to process before Korkie pulled him earnestly into a small room and closed the door.

"Here!" He exclaimed happily. Obi-Wan looked down to the little boy in the dark of the squished area, unimpressed.

"Where the Force is here? A closet?"

"No silly Obi! It's the turbo lift!"

The floor jolted from beneath their feet, and the Padawan caught his breath, seeing that they were indeed inside a small turbo lift, lights lifting and showing the nighttime of Mandalore out the glass wall. "Where are we going?"

"Up!" Korkie clapped his hands and jumped during their short ride, and as they came to a stop sighed. "Alright, out."

"Aren't you coming?"

Korkie laughed, pushing the Jedi out the lift and waving as the door closed again, leaving Obi-Wan alone in the dark of the palace. Somewhere.

"Hello?" He called into the darkness. A figure stood ahead of him, still and silent. The Force warned him with a sharp edge that made his breath tremble, his palms sweat. Something was not right, not at all.

Obi-Wan called nervously again, "Who's there?"

A bright light blinded him accompanied by a chorus of screams, and Obi-Wan felt his legs give beneath himself. He promptly fainted.


End file.
